i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
