sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
