I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You're earring is so big in my mouth
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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