why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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