Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
