I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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