I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Actions speak louder than pants.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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