guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
