You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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