how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
