Sponge bath it is.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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