i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
