One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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