I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
where are my eyebrows?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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