new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
