i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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