I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
