These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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