that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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