his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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