READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
