no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
