There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize