I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize