an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
