Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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