I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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