No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
