Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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