Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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