An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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