she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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