I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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