Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
there was a trapeze. enough said
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
