"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
