I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
