By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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