We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
