well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I know her cup size but not her name....
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