So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
