Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
