You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
