I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
