i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
