how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
