She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize