Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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