well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
