The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
