I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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