a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
