Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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