adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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