as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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