You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
