I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
