Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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