Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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