so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize