the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
