Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
