wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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