I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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