Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
