yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
