So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
