Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
