Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
