Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
