didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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