I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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