I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You took a bar mat shot.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
