oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
