i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize