I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Shame - the story of my life.
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