dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
