So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
