No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
