Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
