I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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