I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize