Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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